Christina Aguilera Took Breasts Out for a Walk

Christina Aguilera took her breasts out for a walk today while visiting in New York City. Last night she cleverly used infant son Max Liron to ward off paparazzi. I feel sorry for the kid but not because he's a human shield. The little tyke must sit around all day staring at his parents.

Pamela Anderson Secret Dating

In the biggest display of FTWism ever, Pamela Anderson and Michael Jackson have been secretly dating, according to the UK Mirror. The two met up in Malibu and apparently hit it off proving my theory that Pamela would hump a toaster oven if it had a hedge fund:

They were very chatty. Pamela was being her usual flirty self and Michael seemed to be responding. They are such a strange couple but they seemed to really hit it off."
So much so Michael plucked up the courage to ask Pammy out on a second date. And she was more than happy to accept.

We're told: "They went for a coffee at Country Mart in Malibu and looked very comfortable with each other. They chatted about Michael turning 50, his new album, their kids. And he seemed genuinely interested in Pamela."

Katie Downes Walking The Streets

American than ogling a British lingerie model "Katie Downes" walking the streets of ole' London town." Cohesion: It's what for dinner I started drinking at noon.

TV Star Jodie Marsh at The Premiere

These are shots of British reality TV star Jodie Marsh at the premiere of Daylight Robbery. Jodie is apparently the scourge of the English celebrity scene and likes to show up at red carpet events in Spandex. Think Andy Dick but with gigantor boobs. That said, don't tell me this isn't Britney Spears in 10 years. I mean, just looking at that pouch, I'm convinced this actually is her sent back from the future to warn us about something. But what? Terminators? Global Warming? Heidi Montag? Tell us, Future Britney with Implants! I swear I'll make eye contact - sort of.